Hello mtfckers, it's me. I'm back. Can't believe that I still want to write, up till today. Well, sometimes you just can't keep things to yourself, y'know? And spilling a little of my heart out here ain't not gonna hurt anyone, or anything.
Well 2019, that's a round of applause for the year and for me itself. Pretty big things did happen especially to the thing that most unenviable such as taking the responsibility you once take a piss on, LOL naneytee. To sum up, I've hell of good trips around the country, high roads and bumps with friendship (still). Lucky me that I can say I'm kinda good with my relationship now.
To reflect on my past of sweet little girl Aida, (oh wished I still kept my old blog just to see how I progressed), urm she's not who she used to be. Worst, she might not even half of it right now. I don't know peeps, the test said I used a lot more of my left brain and said I was very analytical and do things based on logic. Not very sure if it's bad but knowing someone who has the balance of his both side of the brain, I rather stay left-sided.
I guess what's still the same with me is that I don't usually count my blessing. I did, but not all the time as I tend to be very negative and surrounded by insecurities. For the record, insecurities got me uncomfortable two times today and it wasn't even my fault I wasn't born in a wealthy family or not having a roommate that can walk together with you to class? This is hard to admit but I guess the one creating the boundaries is myself and I'm the one who let the insecurities to take over myself sometimes. I noticed I was at times being too hard at myself and punishing me for not being able to fulfill my own expectation also act surprised when I found myself having difficulties to breath at times like that. Nope, haven't found a cure to that yet.
Here's some words to myself; CHILL THE F OUT AIDA.
It's alright, it's gonna be just fine. If not now, maybe later in the future. Soon, I promised you.
OH WOW, that's a bit of an entry isn't it? I better stop now. Till the next post.
P/s: do you know that time when people tell you that you need God while actually, it's just anxiety fucking you up over and over again?
xoxo, A.
